My "Dear John" letters

Let me give you a little knowledge.

During WWII women would write to their men at war and begin the letters with sweet introductions such as "My Dearest Johnny" or "Darling Johnny" but when they received a letter that began "Dear John" they knew that the letter contained the one thing the men prayed would never happen.  The letter would continue and inform them that their sweetie was no longer going to wait for them.  She had either given up or found another man to take up with.

 

In the spirit of "breaking up" I have a few things that I have decided to break up with.

 

Dear Reese's-

I have to end our relationship.  My ass cannot handle you anymore.  Especially in shapes. I have loved you for a long time. But all things eventually come to an end. 

 

Dear Dr. Pepper-

Your 23 flavors are like magic.  Sadly, your empty calories are not.  I have decided to take up with your brother, Diet Dr. Pepper.  And your {very} distant relative, water.

 

Dear McDonald's-

Damn you and your McGriddles.  They are like a non-sticky syrupy bliss smothered with sausage.

Bastards.  It's over.

 

Dear InTouch-

I have to stop buying your magazines.  I know I am addicted to the gossip and what is happening in the Teen Mom's lives. Let us not forget the RHONJ and all their drama.  But this obsession must end.

 

Dear Old Navy-
The materials you have gone to using for your clothing, well they suck.  Gone are the days that I went to you for everything.  Gone are the days of my ONC. 

I can assure you, these are only a few of my many, many addictions that I should be writing "dear john's" to...most of them have contributed to my fat ass.

*Happy Monday*